Most of us have had that feeling: a mate has gone quiet, seems a bit flat, or just isn’t themselves. It’s easy to tell ourselves it’s none of our business, or that we’ll say the wrong thing. But reaching out doesn’t make anyone weak or a burden, and a simple yarn can make a real difference.
1. Ask
Pick a quiet moment and ask straight out. Something like “You haven’t been yourself lately — are you doing alright?” If you’re worried about suicide, ask that plainly too. Asking doesn’t plant the idea; it gives someone permission to be honest.
2. Listen
Don’t rush to fix it. Let the silences sit. You’re not there to solve everything — you’re there so they’re not carrying it alone.
3. Encourage action
Offer to sit with them while they ring Lifeline on 13 11 14, or to drive them to a GP. If you’re not sure who to call, 1300 MH CALL (1300 642 255) is Queensland’s free 24/7 mental health line and can point you to the right service. Our Service Finder lists local options.
4. Check in again
Put a reminder in your phone for a fortnight’s time. The second conversation often matters more than the first.
If someone is in immediate danger, don’t leave them alone. Call 000.
Want to go further? Browse our free guides and training, including R U OK?’s conversation guide.
